What driving around shouldn’t be…

This time around I start with the end, my verdict. For us to get there let us know what I mean by driving around. It actually is the verb form of “drive around”, which in English means “To drive someone around in a vehicle” or crudely put it is “showing a stranger around a place”. Okay enough of the English class now…

I befriended this person from Chennai at the place where I dine here at Dubai. This gentleman had given 9 driving tests in a span of about an year and a half before he finally got his four wheeler license. He was proud to boast that it was worth a wait, as his was for a manual transmission vehicle. While we knew that he only had one and a half feet to support him on the ground, while the other half had gone for a toss due to some damaged tendons (the operation is due sometime now) he was insistent that getting a manual license needs be made a mandatory mark of a man in the Middle East region. While we could understand his reason for being so aggressively gung-ho about the whole thing, a nine time failure. We were trying figure out how on earth a man with one and a half feet drive around in a manual transmission vehicle, changing gear, using a clutch, the break and an accelerator. But he stood his ground (on his one and a half) saying driving was his passion and if at all he pursued his passion that would be on a manual transmission vehicle. We were as usual skeptical.

A day after attaining manhood (getting a manual license) he realized that even for driving an automatic transmission car people need two full legs. So he temporarily (that’s what he says!) bid good bye to the manual cars and took to driving the automatic. Well, he didn’t want to buy a car now as he said he would get one from his office. His name was in the car pool queue in his office and a car would be allotted soon. Till then where would he practice his driving in Dubai (Oops!! That must have been pursue his passion). Enter another friend of mine whose benevolence is a folklore here in Dubai. This man would offer help to anyone be it cash, kind. Be it day or night. He was someone who was already used to giving his car away for these kinds of novice practice drives thro the city of Dubai and around the other emirates. I too would be in the recieving end of this benevolance once I get my license done, his would be my practice car too (hope he doesn't change his mind by then)... So our man drove around the city in Mr. Benevolent’s car for a day or two before he was temporarily allotted a car by his office. But the allotment was only for three days.

Now came the most important phase in his life, his license was about 10 days old and he had to prove to India that he had got his license and he could drive. Opportunity knocked his door when his friends sisters family in Abu Dhabi wanted to go out around the place. Alas our man didn’t have a car as the office had snatched the one given, in Dubai there exists a rule that your license needs to be at least 6 months old before you hire a “rent-a-car”, so he couldn’t. In comes Mr. Benevolent, he offers to rent a car out for the protagonist. This is in spite of the fact that if the guy causes an accident then the car rental company could sue Mr. Benevolent for improper usage of the car, it could probably be a bigger nuisance. But still Mr. Benevolent’s heart is as big as a Big Mac (while for most of us it is just our fist size).

The rules of the game the car rental guy laid when they rented it out on a Thursday evening… the car should be returned on Saturday morning, 10a sharp. The car shouldn’t traverse more than 500 Kms during the two days. An extra kilometer would cost 20 fills (1/5th of a Dirham). Any traffic violations and accidents are the drivers responsibility and when he brings the car back it had to be in as were is condition.

Our man had to take the vehicle from Dubai to Abu Dhabi, pick his friends (a gent and two ladies, among which a lady was as young as Elisabeth Taylor is now). Then the plan was to drive them down to Fujairah and then come back to Dubai after dropping them back in Abu Dhabi. The ride was slated to be somewhere around 850 kms starting from Dubai and back. It was too much an ask for a human being with one and a half legs. But still our man is no ordinary hero, he was confident of conquering the challenges and the distance. He was also confident that me and Mr. Benevolent would join him (which is he and the family in the rented car and me & Mr. Benevolent in his car). Luckily we were tired and hence couldn’t wake up in the morning and we picked the phone up and waved our great guy good bye. But we did promise that we would catch up some time later in the day somewhere.

It was about 3.30p when we decided to embark on our drive for the day, we decided we go to Fujairah from Dubai (which is shorter) and go with him to Abu Dhabi and back. This itself was quite a challenge, covering more than 400 kms. But given the fact that the roads in Dubai are good, we thought it would not be such a big problem. When we were half way down our endeavor we heard our man is still on his way to Fujairah, he was 18 kms short. We wondered how as we ourselves, starting at 3.30 were at that point 60 kms short of the destination. Our mans answer was simple, he missed his way went to another emirate called Ra’s al Khaima which is about 128 kms from Dubai and about 120 kms from Fujairah if one traversed the correct road. This made his trip meter tick more, it was much more than imagined when he again decided to do some research on the roads in the emirates and he reached Fujairah when his meter showed an extra 300 kms.

We left Fujairah together after a tea, they had their lunch. When asked on what they saw, his friends family remarked that the roads in emirates are good. I realized that considering the distance they traversed the roads are the only thing they would have seen thro this eventful trip of theirs. We then left for Khor Fakkan which is around 25 kms from Fujairah. 10 minutes in the beach, a tea more and it was time to leave. We left for Abu Dhabi from there to drop the guests. I could by then because of the stress due to sitting on the seat continuously, feel blisters and sores forming on my skinny back. I was laughing inside thinking how that old woman is going to survive these many hurdles in a single day – the heat, the humidity and the stress due to travel. I was praying god that she reaches home as one piece.

By the time we reached Abu Dhabi it was 11p in the night and we felt like corpses but our man was still putting up a brave face. And now we started our last leg of our adventure, Abu Dhabi – Dubai. This leg is a fast paced one and is about 200 kms. We thought that would take a minimum of 2 hrs if we drove like maniacs. We did drive like maniacs effectively when Mr Benevolent recollected that the last time we took a leak was at Dubai at about 2p in the afternoon. It was about 10 hrs of continuous driving without even a stop for the pot. So we decided that we stop the vehicle for a leak. It was now that our man felt the pinch, he looked like a well stripped chicken dangling in an abattoir. He was worn out, for the first time he agreed, spoke what was, acknowledged that he was tired and he couldn’t drive. But he had no option but to drive and Dubai was still about 40 kms from there. We embarked again, it would have been when Mr. Benevolent realized there was no fuel in the tank, the vehicle was about to choke. This was our hero’s car which Mr. Benevolent was driving and he was supposed to have filled his tank.

For the first time ever in the last 3 months I could see Mr Benevolent visibly disappointed and upset. Now we had to check for a gas station before the vehicle stalled. I called the hero from my phone to appraise him about the status, he first blamed us for not looking at the gauge as we drove and then started giving us ideas as to how to delay the inevitable and by then the usually quiet and patient Mr Benevolent was pissed off, in case the vehicle stalled on the road it attracted a fine of about Dh. 200. And imagine a guy in the gulf region getting his car stalled because of no fuel in the tank. This would make you look like a barber in Tirupati back in India who doesn’t know how to tonsure heads. Fortunately for us we both didn’t loose our cool, we hadn’t still started cursing the hero but for the occasional crib. We finally managed to find a pump in Dubai, about 7 kms from our house. We hit the house in the next fifteen minutes, by then the hero had completed a 1205 km long ride within a span of 15 hours. Believe me it was 15 continuous hours of driving, without a break. Just the pure will to prove to people that he has a license and he could drive, drove our hero to accomplish the impossible. The fact that he even can’t walk for the next 2 –3 days notwithstanding.

Me a mere passenger in Mr Benevolent’s car felt more tired than anyone else (don’t know much about the old lady and the others in her family). Mr Benevolent too was tired, obviously he has to be, for he was my driver and he drove a continuous 10 hrs for about
600 and odd kilometers. I wouldn’t want to repeat this, my having embarked on this kind of a mad driving around would added in my books as one of the gravest errors I have ever made in my life.

This definitely is what driving around shouldn’t be. God don’t make me do that ever. Even ones worst enemy shouldn’t undergo this kind of a self imposed ordeal.

Taking care of my dubious reputation

Well… for those who have been wondering what RajaB broke after his advent to Dubai, there is a good news…

Yes… I managed to break my nose today… not a doctor worthy injury but bleeding & bloody painful.

“How did you manage to RajaB?” would be the next natural question…

I went down for my breakfast here at the media city cafeteria and after taking what I wanted, I along with a good friend of mine walked towards the door with my usual flamboyance. I remember discussing about the state of my personal finances with Vinay and I heard a thud. The next moment I felt like a swatted fly, struck on a glass door… Yes I had just tried the impossible, to walk through a glass door. The next moment when I got back from my swatted stupor I checked two things…

1. How many people around me are watching me with a wry smile?
2. Did I manage to break the glass door?

Well the answers for the questions now… I realized that the cafeteria was flooded with enough people for this spectacle to become a folklore in the media city, leave alone Dubai city for now.

And I did not manage to break the door. It was strong enough to withstand the impact, the one thing left behind was my nose shaped blood spot… great shot it would have been had I had a camera…

But nothing to worry as the bleeding has stopped but my nose looks slightly swollen and I have a heavy head due to the impact and this should be okay in the next hour…

Well, that announces the arrival of Samuel L Jackson in Dubai… It should be good business for the hospitals in Dubai from now on… God bless

Thinking of 10 reasons to be or not to be in Dubai...

Ten reasons why one should come and work in Dubai

1. Monies: You get paid at least 3 – 4 times what you normally get paid in India. Those abnormal IIT, IIM types please excuse.
2. Lifestyle: It definitely is better compared to what I used to live like in Chennai. This might be a little different depending on perceptions on individuals and their outlook towards life… But it is far better.
3. Good women: If you have an eye for women, this is the place to be… All nationalities and types… Filipinos are found in abundance, Russians, Lebanese and Syrians…. What not, its fun for the single men and the unfaithful… heartburn for people like me… And for the women, you have got some fabulous looking Greek men and of course me, RajaB.
4. Fast cars: If you are the one who likes those colourful fast cars, this is the place to be… Ferraris, Lamborghini’s to our own Scorpio every thing is available. The permitted speed limit is on an average between 80 – 120 Kmph… Speeding more than that, Insha Allah you will not be caught by the camera…
5. Food: You get to taste the greatest range of world cuisine possible… From Chettinad to Italian, Lebanese to Pakistani, Kerala to Turkey name it you’ve got it here…
6. Less of Pollution: No smoke, smog etc. as seen in Delhi, Mumbai or Chennai… But you should be prepared for the occasional sand storm which doesn’t affect your life greatly if you are going to live in mainland Dubai. The city is clean and you pay fines if you are found littering (but still people from the subcontinent manage to do it and feel proud that they have fooled the police!!)
7. Amazing shopping malls: Obscene number of shopping malls gives you a plenty of choice while you shop. This huge numbers of mall presence also ensures you have some great deal/offer running thro’ the year at some mall in the town, not forgetting the Dubai Shopping Festival, the Summer Surprises, Gitex – A computer exhibition and a host of other festivals round the year… And the highlight of Dubai, exclusive mall for gold – The Gold Souk…
8. Presence of multinational companies: Almost all the multinational companies and brands are present here in Dubai… So you have a wide range to choose from be it a packet of Kraft cheese for your kitchen or a Hansgrohe for your bathroom… You could also hop jobs from one multinational to other provided you are in Dubai Media City or any other free zone, otherwise your employer could ban you from entering Dubai for 6 months if he finds you are going to hop.
9. Nightlife: Dubai has a great nightlife. Evenings start only by 10p and 4am is night for Dubai. Fabulous clubs and pubs clubbed with amazing beauties from all across the globe, what more would you want… Once you experience Dubai’s nightlife you would wonder if this place is ruled by Sheik St. Peter.
10. Water, Electricity and other amenities: People think water is a rarity in Dubai or at least I have heard horror stories about how difficult it is to fetch water here… I have been told a “Thirsty Sheikh” story during childhood, where the Sheikh unable to find water to quench his thirst kills his camel removes its water bag and drinks from there eeks… But I have after I came here bath for 20 continuous minutes twice a day… Ditto the case of other amenities including electricity etc.

Ten reasons why you should not come and work in Dubai

1. The heat: Dubai, they say is not that too hot. But believe me that is meant for the camels and probably it is justifies if a camel from Dubai tells this story to a camel from India… In my opinion this is a little too hot a place for humans to live and that too from a country like India (I still don’t know how the Russians & Canadians here manage!!). Temperature here is on an average about 48 degrees during summer and the humidity is pitched at more than 85%. Even the AC’s at your home, transport, office and everywhere could only save you to a certain extent.
2. You miss your home: Yes I’m feeling the pinch… It is pretty difficult leaving your whole family down in India and living alone here and that too if you have a wife 7+ months pregnant it makes life all the more difficult and unexplainably tough to deal with…
3. Cost of overseas calls: The ISD calls are a little too above the reach of an average man… And that too if it is India you are calling it is very expensive and that is my personal experience. Talking about calls I have a friend for whom Etisalat the local mobile service provider is thinking of appointing a dedicated customer care resource. Believe me this gentleman makes calls worth Dh. 250, which is Rs. 3000 every two days to his fiancé in India… And I bust-up about half that calling my pregnant wife… Which effectively means that you end up spending a few hundred bucks more than your salaries on phone cards every month, thanks to my Citicard I’m surviving.
4. The cost of living: It is a way too expensive… I bought a pair of shoes for Dh. 300 which equals to Rs. 3,600 and believe me that was the most inexpensive of the lot that was available for me….
5. The middle managers crisis: If you are a mid level manager and you have a plan to make it big in the Dubai scene someday, you cut part of the entertainment and live a quiet life. This over a period of time makes you function like a robot, get up have a bath, catch a bus to office, work, work work, eat your lunch, work, work, work, take a bus back home, have a bath, watch some TV – primarily the free to air channels to save the extra buck, have a drink while you watch TV, have dinner at some cheap Indian joint, go to bed… And ditto the next day and the saga continues ever after till you grow big in the corporate ladder.
6. The traffic: It a little too congested… This is primarily due to the fact that every other man owns a car and if you are a local then a 4-wheel drive is a must as part of your identity. This makes traveling between two points a picnic, yes a picnic full of traffic snarls…
7. Accidents on road: Due to the maddening speed at which these 4 wheeled monsters travel on road there are many accidents that happen. While there is 95% probability that these are not fatal, this leads to traffic jams and congestion. Mornings and evenings when people get into and get out of offices is when the cars look for their mate, and some times it is group orgy of about 4-5 cars piled up.
8. The real estate: Renting a house in mainland Dubai these days gives one a Sheikh status… Yes it is very expensive and only locals and a select group of high earning executives (in Dubai standards) get to live in the heart of Dubai. Rest of us aam junta have to either find a dingy studio apartment or move to Sharjah or some other emirate…
9. The no nonsense approach of the police and bureaucracy: You can’t bribe them you can’t jump the queue and no favoritism or the VIP approach. Indians, especially the ones who have tasted this would find it very difficult to digest this attitude. Now I know where and how “Sare jahan se achaa, Hindustan hamara!!”
10. The women again: If you have a weakness for women, then this is not the place where you should be. “All nationalities available at a very competitive price” looks like a slogan or something? But that is the reality. So better not be here if you have a sweet spot for those sweet woman else you would go back to your country with lots of fond memories and an empty budget in hand…

Are they still riding camel tops??

It is quite sometime since I put pen on paper or rather fingers on keyboard. One way it gives me great pleasure coming back to my olden ways, writing about some stuff.

Well having said that, it has been about a month or two since I came here to the United Arab Emirates. I have been fascinated by the way this country looks, the people, their attitude, the music, fast cars, super mega malls, good looking women of all nationalities, escalator for walking… hey what do they call it propellator or something because it propels you forward?

It has been a fantastic experience. And not forgetting about the place I work, fabulous place with some great people, really helpful and wonderful. But the one thing which fascinated me more than anything else is the road sense or civic sense of the people out here… there still are some Mallu, Tamil, Paki brethren who play spoilsports, would talk about this unique gang later…

Now talking about the road sense…

Rule one – The pedestrian is king, this doesn’t mean that this country is full of jaywalkers like what we find opposite Spencer plaza in Chennai. Everyone knows his limits and entitlements and does things accordingly. Leave alone the three distinct species of human race mentioned earlier.

Rule two – Follow strict lane discipline, else get fined. Heavily sometimes. Forget about the three distinct species mentioned.

Rule three – Ran out of petrol in the middle of a busy road pay a hefty fine. The distinct species not spared here, a rule is a rule… The rule of Sheik Hamdan (yes… he’s the king of Dubai)

Rule four – Not driving fast enough??? Which is doing a cool 30 Kmph when you are supposed to cruise at 100… get honked off by fellow drivers and sometimes you get fined by the traffic cops.

The list would go on and on if I started elaborating on each of these… Now for the best practice, about accidents. Which actually are a plenty here because of the traffic and the way it moves…

You banged on another car??

Check on two things first… How huge was the impact?? Injuries to you, the other guy and to the cars… Next check if both the cars could be moved off road as to not obstruct the traffic. If they could be moved, first move them off. Else you would have to ask your company to transfer your salaries next month directly to the police department account… yes you would pay a hefty fine for obstructing the traffic.

Now call the police and wait for them… there absolutely are no fights between the parties involved, no arguments as to who was right and who was wrong… I would illustrate a typical accident scene here…

My friend Krish whom I consider one of the safest drivers in town and me were going down the Sheikh Zayed road one of the most busy thoroughfares in Dubai. As we took a right turn one Mallu friend overshot his lane came into ours, we swerved to left to avoid kissing his car. In turn we hit a brand new car to our left driven by an young local. It was our mistake we couldn’t have done that. The best we could have done was to have allowed the Mallu’s car hit us and then blame it on him because he overshot his limits. We didn’t do that and therefore the fault was ours, we thought.

And now for the action…

The guy gets down to survey the damage… A deep dent and three scratches for him and two in our car. Looks at us gives an apologetic smile, I asked Krish “is he feeling sorry about what he did or is he trying to say I’m sorry you need to pay up for this?”. A moment after this the guy suggests that we move the cars ahead to a safer place as we wait for the police… We take off first and he follows, travel roughly a kilometer before we find a parking. As we were waiting for the police the guy comes to us says “Do you have full insurance?” We say yes… He says “I have called the police they should be here anytime, they said they are round the corner”.

Now the police comes in… two bearded gentlemen… one old and another middle aged… “Whose fault?” says the policeman. “It is ours” Krish… Police man surveys the damage… “Give me your licence and the vehicles registration”, he takes the paper from both the parties. Fills in a form, draws a diagram as to how the accident would have happened, signs it, asks us to sign it, gives the red copy to us, the green to the other guy and says “No fine for you this time because of the circumstance, but please be careful… Saalam Alaikum” and he is gone…

And now for the guy who got hit “Sorry for keeping you waiting and thanks for the cooperation…. Saalam Alaikum” and this guy is also gone.

Now I ask Krish ‘Aren’t we supposed to leave the vehicles as is, meaning as the collided and leave it as evidence for the police and wait for them to arrive? Aren’t we guys supposed to fight with the other one on whose fault it was? Aren’t the policemen supposed to seize the vehicle take it to the station and demand some bribes? At least the policemen are supposed to be rude right?”

Krish had a simple answer “This is Dubai”

Yes, this is Dubai and I’m starting to like this place and this life…