Subprime Mortgages and Cricket

As I was flipping on my bed trying to catch some sleep after a "full" sake dinner, I could hear my inner voice. The fact that I had one glass too many of sake made me hear my inner voice loud and clear.

It was unhappy, unhappy because I am the one blogger left in this world who hasn’t spoken / written about something called the "Subprime crisis", too bad. I have been hearing people at the golf course, pubs, office coffee machine, lunches, dinners, malls and so on. People who were speaking about Subprime, Lehman Brothers, Merrill lynch etc.

I remember one very economics & finance savvy gentleman talking about how his favorite Mac has gone bankrupt and how it was lucky to be bankrolled by the Fed Authority because they didn’t want the Mac's to be dead!!, little did he know the difference between the Mac as in burgers and the Mac as in mortgages. With all this action happening around, I didn’t want to be left out.

And here is my two bit about subprime.

I think post the real estate & financial markets the phenomenon of subprime is going to hit cricket, precisely the IPL. One might wonder how?!!

It is pretty simple, to understand this one should understand the basics of what subprime crisis means.

It started with giving a loan / mortgage to a person who doesn’t deserve it and then the lending agencies inability to recollect the money. In other words, a mortgage or loan given to a person whose credit rating is not good enough which doesn't repay the lender. Now what connection does this have with cricket?

Recently 13 players from Bangladesh have gone and joined ICL, a huge exodus of talent for a small country like Bangladesh. Big Brother, oops!! BCCI announced that they would take care of this by getting more Bangladeshi players in the next IPL auction.

We all know where Bangladesh's cricket credit rating stood before the exodus, more precisely the T20 rating. Now with talent gone, let us close our eyes for a minute and try and think where and how their cricket credit rating would stand now. And now a Freddie Mac or a Fannie May (the BCCI / ICL) is trying to finance them (by taking more of them in the auction).

I was thinking what might happen.

There are two scenarios,

1. As usual it might just be a BCCI / IPL rhetoric and nothing might happen
2. They might go ahead and take more of the Bangladesh players to the auction

If they indeed take more players from Bangladesh, then there is a potential opportunity for us to see a cricket subprime. If you remember the definition of subprime, undeserving or uninteresting people getting money is what caused the subprime.

With Srilankan cricket allowing ICL cricketers to play domestic cricket there, if a couple of more boards follow suit then there is a good enough probability of talent (read people with good credit rating) drifting the other side. If this happens, then going by the financial precedent, gone would be the IPL & BCCI.

I am not sure if there is any federal setup equivalent in cricket, even if we (mistakenly) consider that ICC is one then I am not sure if they would want to bail the Big Brother out.

A new league on the block (or should I say the range??)

I am seriously considering a business proposal... I think I have a brilliant idea, a nice business proposition, unique to the present day Indian sports TV market, which could make pots of money. Yes, I am thinking of starting a league...

Let's call it the Indian Rifle shooting League. I am sure the IRL would give IPL, ICL and any other alphabet between an "I & L" a run for money, given the present climate.

The eternal optimist I am, I think with the terrible loss to Lanka, age drowning our superstars and with more talented opposition, it is time. It is time we announced the beginning, of the end of Indian cricket and superstardom. Let's welcome the arrival of the great Indian Rifle shooting League.

We could actually make our cricket superstars standby for targets and clay pigeons. I don't think they would find this role way different from what they are doing now... Standing the middle for a while and getting shot out or down!!

Venture capital firms (and angel investors!!), if you are reading this contact me now. This is a first come first offer and you know how brilliant a proposal this is. Abhinav Bindra, after his 10m air rifle gold in the Beijing Olympics would be the new Indian sports hero, at least for the next couple of months. I am sure the Indian cricket team would continue with their good work in Lanka even in the ODIs, so the sooner we start this league the better for our ROIs. Else the Indian cricket team might start winning again (a couple of matches here and there or an odd series of course!!) and we might have competition.

Let's act quickly and change the trend of cricket and cricketers being demigods and superstars. I am not writing this because I have suddenly started disliking cricket after India's disastrous loss to Lanka. I am writing this out of concern for the other (great) Indian sports, the state of Indian hockey today being a prime example. With an Olympic gold in 10m air rifle category, this might be our opportunity to infuse some blood and revive the other sports in India and start respecting the sportsmen and women who (actually!!) represent India in the international arena and bring us glory.

Let's congratulate the Indian Olympic contingent and especially Abhinav Bindra. You have made us Indians proud.

ICL Vs. BCCI

As many, I am a big fan of the BCCI (Board of Control for Cricket in India) for its ability to issue amusingly brilliant and quixotic diktats about people playing / representing ICL (Indian Cricket League) organised by the Essel Group.

We already know that BCCI has banned the players, budding, present and former representing ICL from taking part in any BCCI (and ICC) sponsored events. Here are some more diktat ideas for the BCCI to crush ICL to dust.

1. Nobody, TV, Press or Web can cover the ICL. If someone dares to then they wouldn’t be allowed to cover (why cover, even inside the venue) any BCCI sponsored event. They would be banned for life

2. The photographers who took part in the ICL sponsored photoshoot are banned for from shooting any BCCI sponsored event, players or families

3. The brand of the equipments used by the photographers of the ICL shoot is banned for life from sponsoring, supplying and being present in any manner in any BCCI sponsored event

4. Viewers watching ICL matches live on TV sets would be banned for life from watching BCCI sponsored matches on TV (BCCI has the Pawar and authority to seek and destroy those TV sets). Those watching highlights would be banned from watching BCCI sponsored events for 5 years

5. People who go to the stadium to watch the ICL matches would be banned for life from watching, buying tickets or being present in any area that is 5km radius from a stadium where a BCCI sponsored event is being held

6. The supplier of cricket balls for the ICL matches cannot henceforth supply either match or practice balls for any BCCI sponsored event or team. They would be banned for life

7. The cricketing equipment manufacturers whose equipments are used by the ICL contracted players would henceforth be banned for life from supplying equipment for the BCCI sponsored players, academies or events

8. The grass supplier who laid the turf in the stadia used by ICL for their practice or matches is banned for life. They henceforth can't either supply grass, water grass or undertake maintainance work in any of the BCCI sponsored pitches, lawns and meadows

9. The advertising agency which worked on the ICL branding and publicity is henceforth banned for life from doing any work for BCCI or any of its affiliates. It is futher stated that clients handled by this agency or its sister concern cannnot be present in any of the BCCI sponsored events unless they issue a public apology for being with the above said agency and severe all their relations with the agency with immediate effect

10. It is reported that a college in Chennai has allowed ICL to use their facilities for practice, this is unacceptable and unpardonable according to the bylaws of BCCI. Henceforth any student, old or new and staff from that college in Chennai would be banned for life from taking part in any BCCI sponsored event. However relief would be granted for those who severe their connections with the institution by either resigning or tearing their certificates issued by the college. These people can return back to the BCCI fold provided they write "BCCI is a winner. ICL is always a loser" 2,500 times in the paper provided by BCCI for this purpose

While this list can go on, I stop with 10 points and leave the rest to your imagination. I intend to send the list to the officials of BCCI soon and I am sure they would put these recommendations before a select committee of former Indian captains and implement it at the soonest.